Create Joy in the Way Your Life Unfolds

This is about responsibility ... your responsibility in creating joy in the way your life unfolds.

No, I can't do that.My life is not unfolding to plan. My life is not good. I don't like my life. Under such circumstances how do you expect me to create joy in the way my life unfolds?

That is, however, precisely it. Most of our lives don't always unfold according to plan, or in the best way possible. That's the reason why we have to take charge about creating joy in the way our life unfolds.

If we do that, we begin to see joy appear in the most unexpected ways and in the most unexpected places. Once that happens, we are well on the road to experiencing joy in our lives at will, no matter what the circumstances.

How can we create joy? How can we become responsible in creating joy in the way in which our life unfolds? By deciding to do so. It's a choice. So simple. Start now.

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 

DEINE SEELE UND DU

  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is not currently appearing on a daily basis it is because I post on my other blogs in English, Spanish, and German. These are the other blogs: Rewiring the Soul, so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. The other blog in English is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership. Links to the blogs in German & Spanish can be found above at the top of this blog, on the tabs, as well as under the images of the books in those languages.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Making Life Easier By Deciding To Do So

Life truly is difficult.

Things tend to go wrong for me.

I'm just not so lucky.

Nobody every got anywhere without very hard work.

Do you recognize some of these thoughts? If not exactly the same, then other, similar ones? Are you convinced that life is hard?

Try to imagine the number of times a day you tell yourself that. The number of times a day, as you go about whatever it is you do, that you figuratively nod your head, thinking: yep, this is just another thing that proves how tough things are for me.

Or maybe you try to escape from those awful thoughts, and go about your day, your week, your year by pretending it is not so, only to fall into a hole because you forgot to watch out for those deep, black holes that life prepares for us and because of that you started remembering once again how hard things are.

Either way ... life keeps showing you over and over again that things are hard.

But I posit that there is another way. And by taking me up on my suggestions, the actual events of your life won't change - at least not at first - but what will change is how you see those same events. And then, because you take a new stance, bit by bit, other things will begin to change, and then perhaps, you will begin to notice that life is not so hard after all.

Let's take, for example, a morning that started badly. Your alarm clock didn't work (it's electric, and the electricity went off during the night for 45 minutes). Then, as you raced out the door with no breakfast and a shower that might not have been one, you bang your knee on the door jam, and it's the same knee that started giving you trouble several weeks ago when you slipped and fell on the freshly waxed floor at work. As you get into the car, you realize you told yourself last night while driving home, that you would get gas this morning, that you would get up 15 minutes earlier to have time to do so, but you forgot. So now you need to waste more time doing that, and have not a hope in hell to get to work on time.

Doesn't that prove that life is hard?

OK...so let's take another look. Nothing is different, all you're going to do is decide to look at if from another angle. You are going to find something positive in the events of this day.

Perhaps you will decide that you should have an alarm clock that's not dependent on electricity. (OK, I agree, that's not particularly mind-shattering). Or perhaps you'll decide that you should not leave for tomorrow what you can do today (don't leave the empty tank to be filled tomorrow on the way to work). That one is already a bit more different. In actual fact, if you put that one into action on a consistent basis (not putting off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today, or said in other words, planning more efficiently), you may find that much in your life will change.

Now take it a step further. Make the decision to look at all those things that make life appear to be so hard from the point of view that there is something in there of value for you, something that can take you further down the road to a better, more growth-oriented life. Make the decision that no matter what happens to you, no matter what the circumstance, you will do your utmost to find something in it that can take you a step further, that can move you into a more rich and satisfying life. There is always something new to learn and understand and those events that heretofore you have classified as the proof of life being hard, can now become the events that show you the direction in which you can grow.

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 

DEINE SEELE UND DU

  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is not currently appearing on a daily basis it is because I post on my other blogs in English, Spanish, and German. These are the other blogs: Rewiring the Soul, so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. The other blog in English is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership. Links to the blogs in German & Spanish can be found above at the top of this blog, on the tabs, as well as under the images of the books in those languages.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Taking Responsibility For Your Unhappiness

Yeow!

That is not a fun title.

Taking responsibility for your unhappiness sounds like there's no one and nothing left to blame. And that - of course - is what this is all about.

When you are unhappy, it is because you have chosen to be so due to someone not behaving the way you wanted them to, or something not turning out the way you might have it expected to. So life did not go your way. Things simply weren't the way you wanted them to be.

• your partner forgot your wedding anniversary
• your boss did not promote you
• you wanted to go to the beach and when you opened the curtains, you saw it was raining
• you expected to be able to find the car of your dreams for the budget you had stipulated, and then realized it would cost much more. So now you have to make do with a lesser car
• you thought the person you had dinner with the first time two nights ago would call you by today, and they have not done so
• you expected your son to help you with the garden this weekend and he went out with his friends instead
• you expected your best friend to help you set up your party, and it turns out she forgot!

And so - understandably - you are unhappy.

And of course you believe you are unhappy because of what the other person did or did not do, or because of the situation that did not turn out the way you would have liked it to.

And that is precisely where you need to begin to take responsibility for your unhappiness.

How?

By taking responsibility for your happiness. So if you are unhappy about something, you are the one who can change how you feel. Either by choosing to change how you feel about something. how you think about something, how you view something, or by choosing to do something that will raise your energy to levels where you are able to once again feel happy.

Your happiness is in your hands. If you leave it in the hands of the acts and deeds of others, or in the manner in which situations in your life turn out, you are not free.

Freedom implies being in charge of your happiness.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Our Joys

Poetry can often be inspiring, and today this crossed my desk:

Our joys as winged dreams do fly; why then should sorrow last? Since grief but aggravates thy loss, grieve not for what is past.

Thomas Percy, English poet 1729-1811

Grieve not for what is past ... our joys as winged dreams do fly ... doesn't it make sense that we behave the same way with our grief as we do with our joy? As the poet - Thomas Percy - says, are joys tend to leave us very quickly. And yet we dwell on our sorrows.

This is in fact, an unusually interesting statement about the human condition. We have a much greater tendency to stay with those aspects of our lives that are not bright and clear, that do not have sunshine and warmth, and tend to bring on the clouds swollen with rain. Why do we do this? Is it just a wired into us? Wired into our hearts? Wired into our brains?

I don't think so. This may very well be due to what part Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body, and what Chris Griscom calls the emotional body. I've written about this in the past, so I'll just briefly reiterate the basic points:

• the pain body is seductive
• the emotional body has an emotionally sticky quality that we find hard to pull away from
• both pain body and emotional body are familiar to us because they represent pain, difficulties, and hardships that we have been subject to in the past
• this very familiarity based on the amount of time we have spent revisiting those difficult moments, is what causes us to field the seductive pull
• once we give in to the seductive pull into the pain or the negative emotions via our memory needs, we tend to wallow in the pain, much as pigs wallow in mud
• why?
• Because we prefer the familiarity
• if we spent as much time revisiting our joyful moments as we do our painful ones, we might find - ironically - that we experience greater familiarity with our joy than with our pain - and wouldn't that be a wonderful state of mind to be in...

Have you ever considered why the sum total of your life very possibly seems to have an uneven tipping of the scale in favor of the negative? Could it not be simply because of where you spend much of your mental time? And don't you agree that where you spend much of your mental time is a matter of choice? And if it is a matter of choice, why not spend more time with your memories of the joyful moments, as opposed to memories of the painful ones? It really is that easy.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Do You Remember to Laugh?

An apple a day...keeps the doctor away. How about a belly laugh a day makes life wonderful? Do you even remember the last time you had yourself a real belly laugh? The kind that made the muscles around your stomach ache? The kind that brought tears to your eyes? The kind that had you whooping? Maybe even snorting?

I find that many of the belly laughs I have are actually directed at myself or at something I have done or thought or said. I used to tell the story of a trip I took to Rio de Janeiro in the 90's. My hotel was perpendicular to Copacabana Beach, and from the balcony of my room you could indeed see the beach, so I was out there right after arriving from the airport, taking photos, and breathing in Rio.

As I looked around, I realized that the building across the street from the hotel was an apartment building, and that there was a man in shorts out on his own balcony, looking at me, and kind of making signs. I guess he thought perhaps I found his belly attractive...

I looked at him scornfully and studiously ignored him as I took more photos. He kept on making signs, but he didn't seem to understand that I just wasn't interested. Not even to smile, or wave, or acknowledge his presence.

This continued for four or five minutes, and he finally appeared to tire of my lack of interest, and so went back into the interior of his apartment. I, on the other hand, supremely superior to this mere mortal's fruitless signalling, slowly finished taking my photos and turned to go back into my hotel room through the French doors.

They had locked. From the inside. I could no longer get into my room. I was on the sixth floor of the hotel on a noisy street. I looked around, but realized, no matter how loudly I might shout, I would never be heard by anyone down on the street. I looked longingly into my room at the phone on the bedside table.

I gritted my teeth. I had no choice but to throw myself on the mercy of Mr. Big Belly whom I had been ignoring.

I looked across the street to his balcony. He wasn't there. I continued looking at it fixedly. He was my only hope. I had to get back to my room. I had appointments, needed to shower, change, and get going. If he didn't rescue me, I might be out there until the maid came the next morning to clean the room.

I looked across again. He still wasn't there. What would I do if he decided to exact revenge on my petty behavior? There he was! He had just come out. I jumped up and down. I waved. I felt like an absolute idiot. I had to get his attention. Finally he saw me. I gestured. I pleaded forgiveness with my hands. I mimed opening my door, and not getting in. I mimed a phone call, gesturing at him and down to the entrance of my hotel on the street level.

He nodded. He went into his apartment. He came back out after an eon. He made a V for victory. I thanked him with my hands. And several minutes later the Housekeeper came into my room and opened the balcony door to let me in.

I waved at the man in the shorts across the street and blew him a kiss.

I've gotten a lot of mileage from this story. Most of the time when I tell it, I laugh so much at myself and my arrogance that day, that whoever is listening to it, laughs with me.

Your belly laughs don't have to all be directed at you, but try and have one every day. It's great for your immune system, your blood pressure, your looks, your state of mind, it gives your body a great massage, and according to laughter therapists, it's just about one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Making Happiness a Priority

How can happiness be a priority if I have to achieve my goal of being junior vice president of the company before I can be happy? How can happiness be a priority if I have to be engaged to be married before I can be happy? How can happiness be a priority if fill in the blank has to love me before I can be happy? How can happiness be a priority if I have to weigh at least fill in the blank pounds/kilos less before I can be happy? How can happiness be a priority if I have to bench press at least fill in the blank pounds/kilos more before I can be happy? How can happiness be a priority if I have to fill in the blank before I can be happy?

Thinking that way means your happiness depends on something or someone external to you. It means that your happiness will always be conditional on that premise having been fulfilled. And yet, happiness is something that should not depend on anything external to you for it to exist within you.

Happiness is something you are able to bring to birth within yourself by yourself without need for anything external to yourself. It is - as Barry Neil Kaufman so aptly puts it in his marvellous book Happiness is a Choice - something you decide upon, something that you choose to have in your life independently of outer circumstances.

The creation of this inner muscle is no more difficult than the creation of a leg, arm, back, or shoulder muscle...it merely requires constancy, and as you exercise it, you will see how readily you can use it in all situations, at all moments, without external circumstances having the strength to undo or weaken this muscle. Be persistent - this is just like success: those that continue moving towards the goal will achieve it.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Be Your True Self With the People You Love

The author of a book I recommended recently: Happiness is a Choice, makes mention of something that is so obvious, so important, and yet so rare.

Asked during the question-and-answer period after a seminar, by one of the participants, how he and his wife had managed to stay married so long, and what the secret to their bliss was, Barry Neil Kaufman replied that what he most loved about his wife, was the fact that when he was with her, it was as though he were alone. In other words, with her, he did not have to pretend to be anything or anyone other than the one he truly is.

And that is what I want to encourage you to do today. Be aware of yourself when you start to be someone you are not, especially when you are with those who love you and whom you love. Being real makes for such a difference in the quality of your life and the happiness you will feel. If you are at the beginning of a new relationship, practice it right from day one. If you are in a relationship of many years' standing, begin to be the one you really are. Become conscious of the moments you pretend to be another and step by step, get rid of that persona and allow your real self to come through. Think your relationship won't be able to take it? You might be surprised.

Image: Blue Bay Beach. Kiwengwa, Zanzibar

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Happiness and Gratitude

Catherine Price, a journalist looking at what positive psychologists recommend in order for people to feel happier, decided to experiment with herself over a period of six weeks in order to determine if the typical exercises make a difference. She writes about her findings in Will Saying Thanks Make Us Happier?

Here's some of what psychologists of this new school of thought recommend (see also my October 2006 Newsletter - Happiness: Has it Become a Science or is it a Question of Luck?)

• keep a gratitude journal - write down five things you are grateful for on a daily basis (as simple as being grateful for a sunny day, the smile you get from a child, or a favorite pet who shows you his love for you)


• stop to savor something every day (watch that multi-hued sunset spread out over the horizon, taste the smoothness of that chilled juice going down your throat, enjoy your own laughter as you watch that comedy)


• write a letter to someone that once did something for you that means a lot to you, and let them know about it

There are many others, but the gist of them all is this: you begin to recognize that you yourself are responsible for how well you feel, for how content you are, for how much happiness there is within you. Realizing that, you will never again be shackled by the misery of only reacting to what happens to you. Taking responsibility for yourself forms part of achieving inner freedom.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.